Background Vocals

Testify!

2011-01-30T20:30:00.000-08:00

I recently had the opportunity to write out my testimony for some college applications... I thought it would be a great thing to share here! God is SO INCREDIBLE for saving me, I am so undeserving!

The story of how I became a Christian starts similarly to many others, but there is nothing ordinary about the work God has done in my life. I was born into a family of church-going Christians, and thought that I had “accepted Jesus into my heart” (a phrase that never actually appears in the Bible) at a young age. My life, however, was not in line with that of a true believer. As I grew older I could see, through various alter calls and points where I was called out in my sin, that I had things which needed serious change. Unfortunately, my heart was hard and this was not enough to convince me that I was not saved.

Looking back, I can see that my priorities were completely askew. To any observer, I would have looked like an excellent daughter and student. In Junior High, I earned nearly perfect grades and starred in leading roles in my school musicals. I was obedient (especially when I knew others were watching), and made a point of displaying my knowledge of the Bible during the weekly AWANA meetings. Success and admiration seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I was a “good” girl, but in my heart what I truly craved was the attention and respect of others.

Though I did not realize it, I was a completely wicked person. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” I was narcissistic and selfish; I cared only about doing things that would directly benefit me. There was extreme pridefulness in my so-called success, so when my family changed churches and my parents signed me up for a summer camp called Revival ’07, I was confident that everyone would be in awe of my intelligence and charm. What had I to fear?

Revival ’07 was nothing like what I had expected. From the very first day it was established, through my humiliating failure to define the gospel, that I was not all I believed myself to be. Our pastor challenged students to conduct “open heart surgery” that week; he said if we thought we were Christians, we should analyze our faith, as in 2 Corinthians 13:5. After reading 1 John, I went on an emotional roller coaster as I examined where I was and felt serious conviction over my pride and self-servitude. It was shocking to me to even consider that I was not saved. But it was then that I understood I was not a Christian; I needed to do as all are commanded in Acts 26:20 and repent and put my complete trust in Jesus Christ. My life has never been the same since.

Immediately upon my arrival home, I could see how God had changed me. I now had a desire to share the name of Jesus at my public high school as a new freshman. Becoming a Jesus freak was not something that was shameful to me; in fact, I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with many of my friends about Jesus, two of whom have since become my siblings in Christ. My goals have become the opposite of what they were when I was unsaved. I now want to glorify God, not myself, with any honor I am given. What I value is sharing the gospel, learning about the Lord, and pleasing Him with everything I do. My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life; glorifying God is my highest priority. Every day, I am searching for ways to bring Him honor, encourage others, and understand God better.

God has truly saved me out of the darkness; He changed my life from one of selfishness and deceit to one that is devoted to His service. God chose to save me when I was in complete sin. I had nothing to offer Him, and nothing to impress Him with. God has done a work in my life that is indescribable and otherwise inexplicable. As stated in 2 Corinthians 5:17, I am a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come! I praise God for that every day!

2.5 Kids and a White Picket Fence

2011-01-12T23:07:00.000-08:00

When a lot of people think about the American Dream, the perfect family, the perfect picture, it's something like: a loving marriage, a couple of happy kids, a little yappy dog, and a big old oak tree in the front yard complete with tire swing and all. For many of us, though, that's not the reality.

Maybe we don't have a lot of money.
Maybe we have problems with our siblings.
Maybe our parents aren't together.

So where's the real value in the American Dream of 2.5 kids and a white picket fence?
If you look at some of the great "heroes" of the Bible, many of them don't have that perfect life or perfect family.

Rachel's dad Laban was pretty conniving! He basically almost sabotaged her relationship with Jacob. At least most of us don't have to worry about our fathers tricking our fiances into marrying our sisters! (Genesis 29)

Joseph's brothers hated him for being their father's favorite, so they sold him into slavery. That's not normal... every time I get mad at my brothers my first reaction is not to sell them as a servant to my next door neighbor! And yet, Joseph became second in command and saved the lives of his family and many, many others. He found himself telling his brothers years later: "What you meant for evil, God meant for good!" (Genesis 50:20)

Esther's parents were dead. She was being raised by her cousin, Mordecai. She ended up marrying a king and saving her people. Typical? I think not. (Book of Esther)

And these are only a few examples! The Bible is filled to the brim with more.

So what's the point?
The point is, we don't have to have a "perfect" or even "normal" situation or family to be used extraordinarily for God. And that means we should have nothing to fear!

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious about itself. Sufficient is the day for its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34)

Resolved.

2011-01-01T01:47:00.000-08:00

365.

Seems like a big number. And when its 365 days you think, "Hey, I've got a lot of time."
But do you?

Think back to the first day of 2010. Kinda feels like forever ago... and then it also kinda feels like we were JUST there.

You can probably remember making some New Years Resolutions. Did you hold to them? All of them? Really well? No? Yeah, me neither.

I had some Resolutions. Do I even remember them all? No. But what I can remember of them, I know that I didn't always follow them the way I thought I would. I think I kept telling myself, "There's always tomorrow," which turns into "I'll just do better next week," which turns into "Day one of next month, I'll be on this," which turns into (where we are right now) "HEY, I think I'll actually stick to my New Years Resolutions this year! (Cuz last year was sooooorta an epic fail.)"

Ugh! I hate it.

So this year is going to be different. I do not want to be looking back at my year on December 31, 2011 thinking "There's so much more I could have done!" No. How about we commit to sticking to our Resolutions this year? How about we resolve to do as the Lord commands and pursue Him, love Him with everything we have.

When Jonathan Edwards was 19 years old, he wrote a series of resolutions. There were 70 total, which he committed to reading to himself once a week so he would STAY resolved. Among my favorites:

"4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it."

"25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it."

"28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same."

"41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better."

"52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age."

This year can be about discipline, about reading the Bible, about growing in evangelism and encouragement, about serving more, about praying without ceasing, about speaking and acting with purity and wisdom, about trusting God in every situation, about growing in overall sanctification. This year can be about pleasing God!

Now you have a choice: what will you do? Will you waste this new year of 2011 that the Lord has given you? You have 365 days to change for the better this year, and get closer to God than ever before... unless He comes back first!!

Christmas Superwoman

2010-12-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Can you find the Superwoman in this picture?

That's right... she's the only woman IN this picture. She's Mary!

Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking especially about the qualities of a woman who fears God... and one of the first woman from the Bible who came to mind is Mary. Sure, we don't have the play-by-play description of Mary's everyday life the same way we have the Proverbs 31 woman, but the Bible tells us so much about who Mary was, and she's actually a very relevant example for women today!

Let's take a look at Luke 1. Reading even just verses 26-26, we can get a solid picture of who Mary was.

She was young. Unmarried. Engaged. Probably only 12 or 13 years old! But she loved the Lord and feared God.

When the angel first appeared to Mary, her immediate reaction was to DISCERN "what sort of greeting this might be." This girl was discerning! She had Biblical wisdom and humility, and was applying it to her life!

We know what happens: the angel tells Mary she will have a son who will be the Son of God, the Savior of the World. He will be called Emmanuel, God with us. Put yourself in Mary's shoes. What an overwhelming gift! What a responsibility! She, a young teenager, was to carry the Messiah that she and her people had been waiting for for generations upon generations!!

But there's a huge catch. Her life will never be the same. She's not yet married, and she'll be pregnant. What will Joseph think? And everyone else?? If Joseph leaves her, they'll think she cheated and she could be killed. If he doesn't, everyone will look down on both of them! She'll have a baby, and she'll have to take care of Him. And her baby won't be like the others... her baby will be God! I think many of us would see this as God "ruining our lives."

I'm sure all of this flashed through Mary's mind. And what is her reaction? Panic and say no? Absolutely not! She says,

"Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; Let it be to me according to your word."

That word servant?? She's saying slave!! Doulos Kurios... slave of the Lord! Here to serve!

What if we modeled ourselves after Mary? In complete surrender to the will of the Lord, given over to whatever He has for our lives. How would we live? How much peace would we have? How ready would we be for anything and everything? She's got that ATAPAT (anytime, anyplace, anything) attitude. She's such a role model!

Did you know she also wrote worship songs? Yup, this girl did it all! Here's part of Mary's Song of Praise:

My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.

Amen!!

Who you gonna call?

2010-12-22T23:15:00.000-08:00

A lot of stuff feels like it went wrong today.

First thing I wake up to is my mom telling me our garage is flooded. This has happened before when heavy rainstorms come, but we usually have the men with us to help. This time, my dad and brothers aren't here.
So now my mom is spending hours trying to get sandbags, and wants me to rest instead of help because I'm sick.
I have a doctors appointment to go to so I can get meds before we leave.
We're not packed. We have presents to wrap.
Hours go by. Still no sandbags. We find out we have a huge hole in the fence in our property from the storm, adding a bunch of complications in regards to where our dogs will be for the next week. My prescription isn't being filled.

Every reason to panic... And with the pressure of leaving tomorrow, what should be our reaction?

Prayer.

I prayed, my mom prayed, our friends prayed for us, a random stranger prayed with my mom in Lowe's (totally a God thing!), we prayed for each other... and GUESS WHAT. Surprise! Our prayers were answered. Everything worked out. Our flooding issue is now fine, our dogs will be alright, I got my prescription filled.

One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:6-7 says

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What a promise!! And there are more:

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. (Jeremiah 33:3)

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, "Here I am." (Isaiah 58:9a)

"He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in times of trouble and rescue and honor him." (Psalm 91:15)

These are only a few, but the point is clear. When things go wrong, who you gonna call?? Call on the Lord!!

Why "Background"?

2010-12-20T16:25:00.000-08:00

Play the Background.

Not an appealing thought. No up-and-coming recording artist really wants to sing background vocals. No kid wants to be cast as the "tree" in their third grade musical. Nobody wants to be that person in the group project that does all the work but gets none of the credit.

Everyone wants the solo. Everyone wants the lead. Everyone wants to be seen and heard and recognized, like and respected and praised.

Except... we're not everyone, right? Christians are different. We have different goals, different desires, different reasons for living. We're living for the glory of God, for His return, to spread His Word and make disciples. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that those who are in Christ are new creations, my old self has been replaced. So if I'm living like everyone else, trying to get praise and respect and admiration, how can I say I'm simultaneously living for God?

As many of you may know, my favorite rapper/theologian Lecrae has a song off his last album titled "Background." Go listen to it! Of course it's rap, so the grammar isn't fantastic (hahaha), but meditate on the meaning... it's so worth it :)

"So if you need me I'll be stage right,
Prayin' the whole world will start embracing stage fright.
So let me fall back and stop giving my suggestions
Cuz when I follow my obsessions I end up confessing
That I'm not that impressive, matter fact I'm who I are:
A trail of star dust leading to the superstar."

I'm writing this blog about playing the background because that's exactly what I want to do. I don't want to be known as any of the things I am (singer, actress, student, daughter, friend) unless I'm known FIRST as a a Christian, a Christ-follower, a theophobe. When people look at me, I want them to see God first, and I'll be the background.